It makes sense. Definitely. You do not meet regularly. Do not keep in touch. You are deemed to be forgotten. Simple.

But, as you know, I love antonyms. They make life so interesting, though complicated at the same time. I am sure you must have heard of this also,

Now aren’t both of the sayings like saws, cutting at each other’s neck? Completely opposite. Antonyms.

It makes sense too. You miss those with whom you haven’t been able to keep in touch. This is the psychology behind the new-age lovers. And it explains the restlessness that we read about in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.

So which one is it?

Saying number 1 is most often quoted so as to console the other person, or us, that there is reason why we are alone. That is why my friend quoted it. Because she wanted me to know that there is a perfectly logical reason behind it, and that it’s not my fault. It just happened.

Secondly, It also gives a hope. To ourselves we can say, “Hey, don’t be sad, its just lack of communication. Things will be back to normal with time.” And in the loneliest periods, it’s hope that we most desire. It gives us something to cling on to. False or not, it doesn’t matter.

However, it’s the second proverb, which appears to me true. That is what my personal experiences have been like. Maybe that’s because I am an emotional guy. I get attached to people to such an extent that their absence does affect me. And sometimes, you find no justification for their absence. And then you search for something to give you hope. Anything.

Anyways.

And then there is another proverb, or saying, or whatever you prefer to call them. It goes something like this,

Now this is totally antagonist to the above two proverbs. But it is also correct isn’t it? The more intimate you are, the more you know the person. And more you realize the differences among you two. And then, with time it’s only these differences that matters and not what you had share. It happens. Even with best of relations, save few.

I mean had Mr. James Cameron kept this in mind, the ending of the epic movie would have been totally different. I wouldn’t have shed a tear or two at the end of the reel. And surely my concept of ‘love’ would have been different. It would have been in tune with reality. 

For a moment think about it. Had Jack been with Rose for a week, and not just two days, before the collision took place then maybe he wouldn’t have given up the wood so easily. Arre, that’s taking it too far. Rose in the first place wouldn’t have jumped off the rescue boat. They would have realized that they are not meant to be. Rose is so used to the lavish life that even though she longs for freedom, she cannot conjure up the thought in which she won’t even have a permanent address. And as for jack, he has been a free bird all his life. Being tied down is impossible. They were madly in love, because they weren’t ‘familiar’ with each other.

I am not saying that it had to happen like this, had it been a real story. They could have worked out, and lived happily ever after. But which one is more probable?

The entire set of the above three expressions make sense if you consider them deeply enough, even though considered together, none of them does. And anyhow, life is too complicated to be justifiable by a set of maxims. Human emotions makes our relations so elaborate that we’ll eventually run out of phrases to define them, or the cause for their failure.

Because as Voltaire said, “A witty saying proves nothing.”

-Setu 'Se2' Gupta