Quotes UnQuoted..!
Yesterday, I received a mail from a friend, Sophiya. In it, she gave the following proverb as justification, as to why people close to us move away and eventually forgets us.“Out of sight, out of mind.”
It makes sense. Definitely. You do not meet regularly. Do not keep in touch. You are deemed to be forgotten. Simple.
But, as you know, I love antonyms. They make life so interesting, though complicated at the same time. I am sure you must have heard of this also,
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
Now aren’t both of the sayings like saws, cutting at each other’s neck? Completely opposite. Antonyms.
It makes sense too. You miss those with whom you haven’t been able to keep in touch. This is the psychology behind the new-age lovers. And it explains the restlessness that we read about in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.
So which one is it?
Saying number 1 is most often quoted so as to console the other person, or us, that there is reason why we are alone. That is why my friend quoted it. Because she wanted me to know that there is a perfectly logical reason behind it, and that it’s not my fault. It just happened.
Secondly, It also gives a hope. To ourselves we can say, “Hey, don’t be sad, its just lack of communication. Things will be back to normal with time.” And in the loneliest periods, it’s hope that we most desire. It gives us something to cling on to. False or not, it doesn’t matter.
However, it’s the second proverb, which appears to me true. That is what my personal experiences have been like. Maybe that’s because I am an emotional guy. I get attached to people to such an extent that their absence does affect me. And sometimes, you find no justification for their absence. And then you search for something to give you hope. Anything.Anyways.
And then there is another proverb, or saying, or whatever you prefer to call them. It goes something like this,
“Familiarity breeds contempt.”
Now this is totally antagonist to the above two proverbs. But it is also correct isn’t it? The more intimate you are, the more you know the person. And more you realize the differences among you two. And then, with time it’s only these differences that matters and not what you had share. It happens. Even with best of relations, save few.
I mean had Mr. James Cameron kept this in mind, the ending of the epic movie would have been totally different. I wouldn’t have shed a tear or two at the end of the reel. And surely my concept of ‘love’ would have been different. It would have been in tune with reality.
For a moment think about it. Had Jack been with Rose for a week, and not just two days, before the collision took place then maybe he wouldn’t have given up the wood so easily. Arre, that’s taking it too far. Rose in the first place wouldn’t have jumped off the rescue boat. They would have realized that they are not meant to be. Rose is so used to the lavish life that even though she longs for freedom, she cannot conjure up the thought in which she won’t even have a permanent address. And as for jack, he has been a free bird all his life. Being tied down is impossible. They were madly in love, because they weren’t ‘familiar’ with each other.
I am not saying that it had to happen like this, had it been a real story. They could have worked out, and lived happily ever after. But which one is more probable?
Conclusions:
The entire set of the above three expressions make sense if you consider them deeply enough, even though considered together, none of them does. And anyhow, life is too complicated to be justifiable by a set of maxims. Human emotions makes our relations so elaborate that we’ll eventually run out of phrases to define them, or the cause for their failure.
Because as Voltaire said, “A witty saying proves nothing.”
-Setu 'Se2' Gupta
17 Commendable Insights:
lovely quotations..n each have their own significance..or as u said a perfect excuse to console us as per our needs..v humans hv dis tendency to shape up things like v want them to..rather than accepting as they come...
@anchal-and that is why we are humans...:)
First I'm glad that I could provide you with some inspiration :)
But as far as which quote works, I think all three of them do. Interactions with other people don't only depend on you but they also depend on the other person, and everyone is unique. There is no way that you can place everyone in one group. So to be able to judge which quote works, you have to not only look at how you approach it but also how the other person approaches it and what kind of a relationship you guys shared.
hmmm... I don't quite agree with your thoughts about the Titanic though. That's love and one of the branches of true love in my opinion, is when you know every perfect and imperfect thing about your significant other, and you accept it. You feel comfortable with their imperfections and your tolerant of them to the point that it also becomes a perfect characteristic. And besides, if Jack hadn't died, they probably would have gotten married and a good marriage takes, compromise, commitment, and emotional maturity, along with trust, love, friendship, etc.... and for me I can just see Rose and Jack having a good marriage. Just a thought.
By the way...I didn't tell you the other day, but you can now e-mail me through my blog!
I go with the third one.! Personal experiences..All the time..Many do not admit but the novelty factor soon wears off in a year or so..But I guess the people we never wanna let go of are family..Aaand a few handful of friends..And hey what about people changing??Some closed ones may just change over the time and it's so difficult to deal with it..It's all compromising in the end..
Oh and by the way..I'm HENNA..not HEENA..pisses me off biiig time..And yea I'm following you but any new blog post by you doesn't show up on my dashboard..Can you guess what's the issue with it?
“A witty saying proves nothing.”
^^does justice to the story
quote-the terminator salvation
"in desperate times, the mind is forced to think, what it wants to think"
its just the same...you take it the way you want to, which satisfies you..
wouldn't/couldn't say much about the third one though...
looking forward to the next one....:)
@Sophyia- Yes, i agree with you... and that is what i was trying to say discreetly..everyone is different...there is no point in taking refuge in "whatever reasons" were responsible....people move away...period.
And as for your views i titanic, i would so love to agree with you. But you reside in U.S of A. There don't you see the break-ups and divorce?? even with couples who would do nothing except try to be with each other all the time, who dreamt of living together forever...??
That's cuz initially things are fine. they are meant to be. And there are so few who are really tolerant of their partners imperfection...
Don't you think so ??
@Henna-First of all sorry for misspelling your name. I normally don't do so, but...:(.
Secondly, even i think its third one that holds more merit..and same reason:personal experience. People will change. But why compromise? just because you have been together for a greater part of our life? And what about when the other person doesn't even make an effort to retain the same feelings you shared??
thirdly, try unfollowing and then following again..maybe it might work then..i really have no idea what is going wrong...:)
@Sambhav-I so so agree with you...couldn't have put it in a better way...thanx bro..:)
d last time i cried was wen i heard "jashne bahara" frm jodha akbar... that was more than beautiful...so... crying was "understandable"
but this...
i ve been trying 2 figure out d reason y i cried reading this...
was it bcuz it came from a friend "long lost" ?
or cuz it feels familiar...
mayb this is a hard one for u...
but ans this. since u seem 2 have ans for all those "deep-down-buried-long-back-and-forgotten questions..."
larger than life...
unforgettable till my oblivion...
Beautifully put! Beautifully put I must say!
Philosophy is the path to a dead practicality once you choose the correct way! ALL of the maxims are right, and ALL generalisations are FALSE (pun intended).....Human emotions are too complex to be put in a single line.......and as for contradictions......I've always believed that a debate can NEVER be won, only the opponent outwitted.
To me, "Out of sight, out of mind" AND "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
BOTH are true.......it's just INDIVIDUALISTIC, as I like to put it.....some people, I FORGET, some people, I REMEMBER, or rather, LONG FOR when away or out of touch......
And Familiarity breeds contempt.....well, sometimes......other times, if we just ADJUST a little, we can get away from big things, if a relation ON THE WHOLE becomes UNDERSTANDING......most my CLOSE relationships have a LOT of fights attached to them, but NEVER contempt.....there's nothing we dont get out of......we GROW each day, cause we KNOW each other, and distance doesnt matter then.....
This article is very well written, as I may add to my abrupt ending......
Relationships are just as complex as life, but it's important not to LIVE, but to GROW!
Cheers ;)
@akrita-I don't know why you cried after reading this...like i told you afterwards...it's not even one of my better blogs...I was way confused, and struggling with changes in my life when i wrote this...but there was so much confusion that nothing was clear...and this was reflected in my blog...even whatever i wrote seems so unclear and hazy to me...
So i cannot even fathom why you even like the blog at an intellectual level, let alone connct with an emotional level...But as i have already promised you, i would think about it and Mail you...I guess it's the first time i'll use my hypercritical mind for a use....:P
By the way- thanx for your comment...and support...:D
@Niyam-Thanks a lot dude....For such an insight...it's real deep...
i specially like this line-"Philosophy is the path to a dead practicality once you choose the correct way!"....Oh so awesome it is...:)
and i don't know what further should i add to your already complete statements...To me, i find all three of these quotes to be true..with each sharing some of their aspects in each form of relation...Even a single relation has a part of these three "sayings"....but people tend not to realize it....it's the end of relation that is justified...:)
And relationships are way too complex to me than life...:)
Its because if you boil down everything...life is very simple...it's to fufill your purpose...whatever it may be...
however, relationship is a two way process..it requires you and other person to have a fine tuning...whereas in life, it's all about you...
I hope you got what i am trying to say...i say weird things most of the time so you might not get what i really want to say..(even i don't)..:P
Still thanks for such a lovely comment...thanks a lot bro...:)
Are you kidding, you're saying good stuff. You want weird? Read my poem book :P haha
And yes, I DO understand what you are saying. And I agree COMPLETELY.
Relationships are a two way streak. They cant be run by ONE person alone, unless it's not a RELATIONSHIP, but a COMPROMISE!
THIS is what people tend to forget, they take it for granted, and to me, only THEN can a relationship BREAK. Either THEN, or when the TAG or the NAME of the relation is TOO WEAK to HOLD it. Misunderstandings can eat you in relations, and they are more delicate than life. Life, it's just yours, you can play around with it, but since in relations - another person is involved - you have to keep them tenderly!
But tell me, isnt LIFE just a parallel, or a device to SUPPORT relationships? And relationships one of the REASONS for life?
Do we have more to life?
More important that love and people?
Love, relations, money, success, happiness, gloom, light, darkness, peace. What more is there? Aren't they pieces of the same puzzle?
And of course, MUSIC :P
@Niyam-Life is way more than just having relationships..Relationships form an integral part of life, and not the other way round...I would have never understood this fact had i not experience it myself in the past 3 months....You urself that we have to grow...Life is enriched with each passing days, but relationships they fade away...gradually....
Life to me is about being true to oneself...and to know what it reaaly is about...you know the pradox....-
LIFE IS TO KNOW WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT...!
That to me, will remain a joke. For a Nihilist, life is about nothing, I dont believe in trying to FIND a purpose to life, I believe in MAKING one. It's the only way. And I aint saying that we live FOR relationships. But to me, it's one of the only reasons I am alive. They fade if one of the two people in it LETs them fade. I've been through that! But those that havent faded, are beautiful. Baki toh boss, everything will fade, even memories. How long you can keep them SHARP, is up to you!
never thought so seriously about those quotations before! but i find myself related to the 2nd one more...but with my experiences, i feel the 3rd one is more practical and relates to our lives...i specially liked the titanic part..keep up the good work.......
@Kid-
Thank you for sharing your insights and welcome to my conclusions...:)
These quotations are subjective...depending upon your experiences...so i guess all of them make sense, and can be related to at one or the other times...
And even i like the titanic part..thanks for liking it too...(:
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